How I started getting what I want

sun rising or setting
Sunrise from the International Space Station

“Have a blessed day!” I used to cringe whenever I heard these words. They felt oppressive, like somebody trying to push their religion on me.

I had some serious baggage around religion. And I had a big chip on my shoulder that made it impossible for me to receive the goodwill behind those words.

Today, I recognize these words as a straightforward expression of goodwill. I respond with “Thank you.”

“Have a blessed day” is now a reminder of a dramatic shift in my mindset.

A shift to seeing the intentions of others as positive—not oppressive.

So, how did I go from mentally pushing away that goodwill to receiving it graciously?
I didn’t change out of the kindness of my heart. Or even out of a desire for personal improvement.
The change in my mindset began with my desire for business success. I thought that if I could just be successful in business, then improvements in personal relationships and physical health would naturally follow.

I know you’re expecting me to tell you that’s not how it happened.

But, that is how it happened.

At the time, I was making just enough money to pay my rent and bills—as long as I worked 60 hours per week.

But, that’s not what I signed up for when I made the decision to become a website developer.
The business I signed up for didn’t require so much time working!

I wanted a change. Here’s how I got that change in three steps.

Step 1.

To get it, I paid close attention to the people who already had what I wanted. They were successful, making great money, gaining status, and developing a strong following. They had testimonials out the wazoo!

Granted, some of these business owners had advantages, like money and connections, that I didn’t have. But what about the others? The ones who started out more like me? What was their secret?

What was special about them?

I read their website ABOUT pages.

I read the books they read.

I listened to their podcast interviews.

I really paid attention.

After a year or so of research, I discovered a subtle common thread.

Successful people believe their success is inevitable. They believe luck is on their side.

And, so it is.

People who believe their success is inevitable behave differently.

  • They have courage to take actions that seem risky to others.
  • They are not afraid to ask for support to further their cause.
  • It’s easier for them to persevere in the face of repeated temporary failure.
  • They don’t just make plans; they act on their plans.

There seems to be a cause and effect relationship here. Believing in the inevitability of success opens up a whole new world of options. It takes motivation to the next level.

This discovery about belief changed everything for me. All I had to do was believe I could have what I wanted and then success would be inevitable.

Step 2.

I’d discovered what successful people do. The next step was figuring out how.
How could I start to believe? I mean, I couldn’t just do that. I wasn’t going to just wake up one day and believe success is inevitable?

So, I sought out the methods that other people had used. In my year of research, I realized I didn’t have to reinvent the wheel.

Several of the books on my reading list (below) came with instructions for developing belief. In Napoleon Hill’s books, he calls it a combination of belief and imagination. Shakti Gawain calls it creative visualization. Rhonda Byrne calls it the law of attraction.

Step 3.

To believe I’d get what I wanted, I had to figure out exactly what I wanted. Figuring this out was tough. It meant taking an honest inventory of myself, writing out my thoughts (ugh), and talking with people I trust about my impossible dreams.

Knowing what I want has meant knowing where my business is headed. Knowing where my business is headed helps me choose my route. I make decisions consistent with that route and don’t second guess myself.

Believing I can have the business I want has this magical effect of blowing the lid off my self-imposed limitations. The world is a place filled with opportunities which I can accept or reject.

Three steps. The results:

It totally works.

Not only do I believe my continued success is inevitable, I am successful now. I went from worrying about when my next client would show up to quadrupling my annual revenue in three years and reducing my workload to 35 hours per week.

The hardest part in coming to believe in my success was figuring out what I really wanted.

After I knew what I wanted, it didn’t take long to see results.

  • I believed my clients appreciated my work so I asked them for testimonials—and got them.
  • I believed I could be the best at what I do. So I stopped doing things I wasn’t good at, practiced my craft, developed my strengths and now I am the best.
  • I believed more and more people would want to work with me, and now I have a team of people to help with responding to the demand.

The cycle of reinforcement began. I started with itty bitty belief which led to more new actions which led to medium size belief which led to even more great results and so on.

I’ve kept a journal for several years. Whenever I review it, I am amazed by the record of evidence for this approach to success.

When I changed my mindset about my business success, it spread to the rest of my life. I’m not a robot, so I didn’t shut off work at the end of each day. My attitude toward my success in my business spread within my personal life.

My path to success started with discovering what I really want. Then I applied the methods of visualization and imagination suggested by experts. I came to believe in myself and the goodwill in others. Your path to success may look different, but I hope you end up at a similar destination: belief in your inevitable success and an end to struggle in your business.

My Reading List

Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain

The Power of your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale

Awareness by Anthony DeMello

Welcome to WebDev Success. I’m Emily Journey and this podcast is where I take a hard look at the challenges facing the website development industry. Learn how to attract loyal customers, how to raise your prices with confidence, and take steps to craft the work life you’ve always wanted. Subscribe, listen in and develop brilliantly.

Join the discussion

  • Emily,

    I always enjoy reading about your journey. And it is a real one for sure. Thank you for being such a strong mentor. Your guidance and advice have always led me to the correct answer or resolution.

    I too thoroughly enjoyed The Power of your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. It gave me the strength to believe that I could be a better mother by learning to say no to outside forces of negativity… and rely on my own internal strength to actually have fun raising my children with more confidence.

Further reading

Web developer working at table

Hi, I’m Emily Journey. I founded and lead a website consulting agency with six coworkers. This blog is where I write about the things I’ve learned at my real job.
I respond to your comments at the bottom of my posts. Subscribe to get my weekly email.